Queer Tendencies
by broken shards
Summary: Draco teaches Harry a thing or two. Well, just one thing. Includes strange humour, Harry being mortified, and bizarre secrets uncovered. Harry discovers a part of him he never knew existed.


_One of the oddest stories I've ever written (and completed) it's actually based on a comic I drew recently. Exactly the same happens, give or take a few words here and there. I like it so much I thought I'd try transforming it into a story. I didn't do any research, the spells I use are all wrong, especially the 'Mobilirus Vero' à Dunno where THAT came from! Also, couldn't remember half of what happens in the series of books. Ah well._

_Now I need a name for it. _

_What You Didn't Know About Malfoy_

__

_How's that? Nah…too long…_

_Strange Tendencies_

__

_What about that? Nah, I've already used to the word 'Strange' for another story. Let's look for other words instead of 'strange'…there's 'Unusual'…''Abnormal'…''Bizarre'…there's also: _

_QUEER TENDENCIES ~ By Broken Shards_

"Are you sure this is a good idea Harry?" Hermione said, doubt in her voice. It was not Harry's motives she questioned, but she was afraid that things may not go according to his plans.

"Yeah Harry," Ron agreed, "I mean, why should _you_ apologise anyway? After everything he's done to us- he never apologises! And it isn't such a big deal."

"Ron," Harry sighed, knowing his best friend wouldn't understand, "for once the accident was my fault. I feel guilty. And you know I'm a good guy! If I don't say sorry, even if he doesn't accept it, then it'll be weighing on my conscience for ages!" Harry remembered Potions class, where he tripped over his untied shoelace and spilt undiluted Mayne Brew onto Malfoy's shirt. It ate right through the material, so you could see the Slytherin's bellybutton through the small hole. Malfoy was furious and ran to his dorms to get a new shirt.

"Harry," Ron shook his head, "you care way too much."

Harry smiled and waved his friends good bye. He walked to the entrance of the Slytherin dungeons, trying to remember the way there from his second year experience. Shrugging, he made his way down the dark uneven passageway, almost always tripping over the flagstones.

Stumbling down the stairs, he stared in dismay at all the walls that seemed to surround him. Where was the doorway?

Harry ran from one side to another, hoping to find a scratch or some marking to indicate where it could be, but every rock in the wall gave away nothing, and Harry almost gave up. "Dammit!" he growled to himself. Suddenly the bricks shifted against each other and moved aside, revealing the Slytherin Common Room. Harry could see the roaring fire, and a figure standing near the table inside. "Interesting password," the Gryffindor thought as he climbed through the hole.

As soon as he stepped through, the figure spun around. "Gryffindor!" she gasped, and whipped out her wand. Harry's mind went blank and his hands automatically flew up in surrender.

"What are you doing here Potter?" the girl snarled. "You're lucky everyone else is in the Great Hall having lunch!"

"Hey," Harry argued, wondering whether he'd be able to reach his wand inside his coat quick enough before he was hexed, "I know Malfoy is here too. I…I just wanted to apologise for what happened in Potions today."

"Well he doesn't want to see _you!_" the Slytherin shrieked, her brown eyes flashing. "He won't see _anyone!_ You're going to pay for what you did today!"

At that moment, an almighty crash sounded from up the stairs. The girl whirled around, dropping her wand arm. "What was that?" she cried.

Harry took the opportunity to reach into his inside coat pocket and pull out his wand. "Petrificus Totalus!" he yelled, pointing at the girl. She stiffened, her eyes wide with shock, and fell to the ground with a "thump!". 

"Sorry Pansy," Harry muttered as he made his way to the stairs. Slowly he walked up, imagining what Malfoy would do to him when he opened the door to his dorm.

But first he had to find the door. The corridor stretched infinitely, numerous numbers of doors on either side. Which one was Malfoy in?  
Another crash was heard, coming from the second door on the right. "Bingo," Harry thought, and walked to it. His hand reached for the door knob. "Malfoy?" he called out hesitantly as he turned the knob, wondering if Malfoy already had his wand out, ready to zap him. Harry held his wand tight in his right hand, ready for any surprises.

"WAIT! DON'T COME-"

Harry entered and his eyes goggled.

"…IN…"

"MALFOY!"  
"POTTER!"

They stared at each other in shock and disbelief. Harry's mouth fell open. Malfoy was wearing…a dress! A string of pink beads hung around his neck, and his hands were covered up to his elbows in white ballgown gloves. 

Malfoy leapt forward and grabbed the Gryffindor by the throat. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!" he shouted, yanking Harry up and down. "You saw NOTHING, got it, NOTHING!! You tell ANYONE and you DIE!!"

He threw him at the wall, and the other boy crumpled in the corner, dazed and dizzy. "Got it," he muttered, holding his glasses steady. He looked up at Malfoy in fear and confusion. "But…but WHY are you wearing a…a _dress?!_"

Malfoy sighed. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked, hands on his hips. He smiled. "Because I look damn good in one!" 

Harry gaped. "M…Malfoy?" he stuttered, "Are…are you…normal?"

"Of course I am," Malfoy brushed him off, and folded his arms, "_you_ just don't appreciate beauty." He narrowed his eyes at the other boy. "And what are you doing here anyway?" he asked coldly. "How did you get in? How did you get past Crabbe?"

Harry wondered which question to answer first. "Crabbe?" he said finally, gazing up at Malfoy towering over him. "I didn't see Crabbe, only Pansy."  
"Pansy?" Malfoy sneered. "Pansy's doing detention now. What are you talking about? Only me and Crabbe are here at the moment."

"Wait a second…" Harry was having a revelation. "Are you saying that _girl_ downstairs was…" He jumped up. "CRABBE??!!"

"Yes, Crabbe is quite pretty as a girl isn't he…" Malfoy examined his pristine gloves, indifferent to Harry running around the room screaming, "AAHH! I'm having a mental breakdown!"

"Although not as pretty as me of course," the Slytherin added, smirking, as Harry threw his hands up in the air and shouted, "The Slytherins are CROSS-DRESSERS!!"

"You know," Malfoy said thoughtfully, "with a little lipstick, some nice black mascara and a lovely Versace gown, you could look quite pretty too…Harry." 

That stopped Harry in his tracks. His eyes widened. "AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!"

As Harry continued throwing a tantrum, the blonde tapped his chin thoughtfully. "That's quite an interesting idea," he mused, grinning to himself. "A little revenge for Potter barging into the Slytherin dungeon. I like it! Heh heh…"

He pulled out a huge plastic hammer and as Harry ran by for the seventh time, hit him hard and squarely on the head. As Harry collapsed unconscious in a heap, Malfoy thought gleefully, "Guess I learnt a little something from Kodomo no Omocha*!"

A few hours later, Harry stirred from his deep sleep. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes a little. Out of habit, he reached out with his right hand for his glasses, and found them on a table beside him. Slipping them on, he blinked a few times. The blaring green hues surrounding him made him feel sick, and suddenly he was wide awake. "Where am I?" he thought frantically. He sat up straight, and spied a note near his feet. Reaching for it, he looked down and realised he wasn't wearing his uniform anymore. He was wearing a red patterned DRESS with tiny black flowers stitched all over! A green sash completed the outfit, and though he couldn't tell, a blue bow in his hair gave him a very cute look. So many different colours may have clashed on another person, but for some reason, on Harry, it looked…alright.

Harry didn't think any of this. He grabbed the note and scanned it, becoming more and more agitated as he read on:

_ Dear Potter,_

_ You are in the Slytherin Common Room_

_ (as you can tell). And you're late_

_ for class. McGonagall won't be pleased!_

_ HAHAHA!_

_ Oh, and I hope you like your new clothes. They're _

_ charmed so you can't remove them!_

_ HAHAHA!_

_ ~Malfoy~_

Harry did the only thing he could. He shrieked like a little girl. Jumping up, he looked at his watch. Malfoy had indeed been right, he was _extremely_ late for Transfiguration. McGonagall would _kill_ him!

Harry hitched up his dress and began to run towards the hole in the wall - and with a "OOF!" fell over and collided with the floor. Damn high-heel shoes.

Meanwhile in Transfiguration class, McGonagall was teaching the students how to transform an egg into an omlette without actually breaking it and frying it. It was a very difficult task.

Ron leant over and whispered to Hermione, "Harry's really late. Malfoy _must_ have done something to him."

At that moment Harry appeared in the doorway, panting heavily. The red dress he wore was twisted and crumpled, and his sash looked like it was about to fall off. He tottered on his tall stilettos, and gasped out, "Sorry I'm…*pant*…late…*pant*…"

The whole class for once was silent, staring at him as if he were some strange creature. McGonagall's mouth was open for a whole minute. She was about to say something about his choice in clothing, when she remembered Dumbledore's talk at the beginning of the year. 'No discrimination,' he said firmly. 'These children should be allowed to express themselves. Growing up is a difficult process. We as teachers must accept them for who they are.'

"No discrimination," she told herself, and took a deep breath. "Mr. Potter," she said loudly, "is there a particular reason you are so late for my class?"

The class waited for Harry's response. "Um…" the boy said embarrassedly, "I…uh…broke a heel?" The room erupted into laughter as McGonagall's eyes widened.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor," she pronounced over the loud din, "Sit down Mr. Potter." 

The only place free was the seat beside Neville, and Harry sat down, amidst the titters and chuckles. "This is so humiliating," he thought, cringing. 

"Hey Harry," Neville said pleasantly. He gazed at his friend curiously. "You look different," he stated. "Did you get a haircut or something?"

Harry rolled his eyes.

After class, Harry tried his best to stalk out of the room, very hard as his heels clicked with each step he took on the marble floor. He found Malfoy surrounded by a group of his fellow Slytherins.

"MALFOY!" Harry shouted, and the group turned to look at him, astounded by his appearance.

"Potter?" Malfoy's familiar drawl drifted towards him.

Everyone cracked up laughing, Malfoy bent double as Harry seethed with rage. He stomped towards his arch enemy. "Malfoy," he yelled, pulling at his dress, "get this OFF ME!"

Malfoy immediately sidled up to him. "But we've only just met Potter!" he said sweetly, batting his eyelashes flirtatiously. "Don't you think you're moving a bit too fast?"

The surrounding Slytherins began sniggering again, as Harry took a few moments to understand what the other boy had been implying. When he did, he blushed deep red, and the boys around laughed harder. "Red really suits you Potter!" someone shouted. Another yelled, "Love the fishnet stockings!"

As Malfoy chuckled to himself, Harry grabbed his shirt and pulled him aside.

"Look Malfoy," he said angrily, "you'd better lift the charm or else I'll tell all your *friends* that I saw you in your room wearing a DRESS!"

Malfoy only looked amused, and folded his arms. "Well I've thought about that," he said, smirking, "and I realised no Slytherin would believe _you_, especially while you're wearing something like _that!_" He laughed heartily. "And besides, you'll get into worse trouble once they start asking, 'Why was _he_ in the Slytherin dungeons?' Why were you there anyway?"

Harry ignored the last question. "Fine," he said through gritted teeth, "then I'll tell the Gryffindors and the other houses. _They'll _believe me!" Malfoy's smile faded as Harry continued. "You'll be the laughing stock of Hogwarts! If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes and dropped his arms to his side. "Fine then!" he snapped. "I was worried you'd ruin that dress anyway." He pulled out his wand and pointed at Harry. "_Mobilirus Vero!_"

Harry met up with his friends and explained everything. Well, not _everything…_

Ron was incredulous. "Malfoy charmed you?!" he said, shaking his head. "For no good reason, after you'd apologised? That fink! You couldn't help but expect that though, could you…"

Hermione was thinking, "That was a really pretty dress, Viktor would love it…on _me_ that is!" She flushed at the thought of her boyfriend wearing a really low cut slinky black dress. For some reason, the idea didn't seem too unpleasant.

A few days later, Hermione walked up the stairs to her dorm. Hearing noises within, she assumed that Lavender was inside. Sighing with relief, she began to turn the knob, wondering why the girl had been hiding up here all this time when they were having the end-of-year feast downstairs in the Great Hall. Harry was missing too, but he had said he was meeting Sirius for a private meeting in a private location.

"Lavender, why are you-" She stopped as she realised the figure in the room draped in layers of soft rose-coloured silk was not her friend at all. At least, not _that_ friend…

"HARRY?!"

"HERM!" Startled, Harry dropped the mirror and whirled around. "Hermione!" he cried, his eyes frantic and wild. "I…I…"

Hermione rushed up to him and held him by the arm. "What are you doing in the girl's dorm? Did Malfoy curse you again?"

"Er...well…you see…" There was no possible way out of this one.

"Wait a minute." Hermione inspected the pink material closely. "I recognise this dress…Parvati wore it to the Yule Ball!"

"Um…"

"Harry, explain!" Hermione had her habitual hands on her hips, and she stared at Harry expectantly.

"Hermione," Harry sighed, moving away and closing his eyes. "That day, when Malfoy charmed me…I didn't want to admit it, but…but…I actually kind of…_liked_ wearing the dress!" Hermione gasped, but Harry didn't budge. "I can't explain it Herm," he continued, "But….wearing dresses makes me feel…"

He spun around and widened his arms, grinning widely. "BEAUTIFUL!" he exclaimed with joy. 

Hermione was taken aback as Harry grabbed her hands in his and looked at her earnestly. "Can you accept it Herm?" he asked softly, hope in his eyes.

Hermione swallowed and nodded. "I can accept it Harry," she replied, just as softly. "But I'm not sure about Parvati…she's very attached to that dress…"

That Saturday night, when everybody was asleep, Harry raced nimbly down the uneven steps, the Invisibility Cloak wrapped tightly around him. He dashed to the right wall, and whispered, "Dammit!" The wall immediately opened for him, and he stepped inside. There was no one up, seeing as it was close to midnight, and the fire was out. Pitch blackness. Harry took out his wand and muttered, "Lumos!" The room was lit up dimly by wandlight, and he slowly made his way up the stairs, the floorboards creaking under his weight. 

At the second door on the right, he gently turned the door knob, and stood in the doorway, staring at the three beds. Each had their curtains closed. Harry cursed himself. Which one was Malfoy's bed?

As if on cue, noises wafted from the bed on the left. "Versace…" came the sleepy voice, "…Gucci…Prada…zzz….." 

"Ah," thought Harry, and walked over. He pushed the curtains open, and there lay Malfoy, oblivious to the presence of the Gryffindor. Harry grinned and pulled off his cloak. He closed the curtains behind him, and placed his hands on top of the sleeping figure. "Malfoy," he hissed, his voice low and urgent. He shook the body slowly, then more vigorously. "Malfoy!" When that didn't seemed to work, Harry groaned and leapt onto the bed. Straddling the body, he began to shake Malfoy furiously. "Malfoy!" he cried softly. "Wake up! Malfoy!"

"Potter," the Slytherin's quiet voice stopped Harry's movements, "I want you to know that this is not unlike any dream that I've had." Malfoy opened his eyes, Harry's face inches from his.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind." Malfoy reached up and grabbed Harry's throat, making the other boy wince. "What are you doing here Potter?" he seethed. "I'd like you to tell me before I kill you."

"Eh…I'd…I'd…" Harry gasped for breath, "I'd like to…ergh…make a…an exchange…"

Malfoy released his hold. "Exchange?" he repeated, suspicious. "What kind of exchange?…"

"Well…" Harry reached under his jacket and pulled out a hanger with glittering material folded over it. "That red dress I wore on Tuesday for this sparkly blue one!" he said cheerfully, scratching his ear.

Malfoy blinked in amazement as Harry placed the dress next to Malfoy's face. "See, this one goes better with your eyes," the Gryffindor told him brightly. Malfoy was speechless. 

"Er…Potter??!"

"Well, what do you think?"

Malfoy sat up and touched the material. "Hmm," he said thoughtfully, admiring the colour and texture, "This _is_ good quality…feels nice…" He looked up at Harry, and studied his features, searching for a trace of mockery or farce. Finding none, he finally gave him a genuine smile. "Deal!" he said, grinning, and both boys shook hands. "You know Potter," Malfoy said, reaching under his bed for the red dress he hid there, "this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"

**THE END!**

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* Kodomo no Omocha is a Japanese anime (based on the manga of course) dating back to the early 90's I think. Translated in English, it's "Child's Toy"


End file.
